Every gamer knows the feeling. You're up against a final boss, and it's just impossible. Then you remember it: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start. A cheat code. Suddenly, you're invincible. That's the vibe the Brooklyn Pickleball Team is giving off right now. It doesn't even feel fair.

After a series of masterful offseason trades, Brooklyn hasn't just built a superteam; they've programmed a cheat code into the Major League Pickleball season. They've stacked the roster with so much power, versatility, and specialized talent that the rest of the league is left holding a standard controller, wondering how to compete. This isn't just a team; it's an unfair advantage.

The Power-Up Trio: A Three-Headed Glitch

Brooklyn's moves for their men's squad weren't just signings; they were targeted acquisitions designed to exploit every facet of the MLP format. This isn't a team; it's a collection of power-ups.

PlayerHeightDUPR (Doubles)Key Attribute
Chris Haworth6'4"6.18Elite Singles Power / The DreamBreaker Finisher
Christian Alshon6'2"6.91Explosive Athleticism / Highest DUPR on the Team
Riley Newman-6.72Veteran Champion / Doubles & Mixed Specialist
Let's look at the code. Last season, Brooklyn's glaring bug was the DreamBreaker, the high-stakes singles tiebreaker that decides a 2-2 match. Their record was a paltry 1-3 [1]. The front office's patch? Go out and download a guaranteed win by acquiring Chris Haworth, the No. 3 ranked men's singles player in the world [2]. At 6'4", the former college tennis player is a power-playing machine. He's not just an upgrade; he's the specific exploit for their biggest weakness.

Then you install the Christian Alshon mod. Nicknamed the "Tweener King," Alshon is an athletic glitch in the matrix with the highest DUPR on the entire team. A former D-III NCAA tennis champion who went undefeated (18-0) in his final season, Alshon brings a level of unpredictable, explosive shot-making that can't be defended [3].

Rounding out this killer combo is Riley Newman. This isn't just adding a player; it's loading a saved game from a championship run. Newman is a proven winner, an MLP Champion with this very franchise (formerly D.C. Pickleball Team), and a doubles tactician with over 20 PPA Tour gold medals [4]. He's the veteran who knows all the secret levels and hidden moves.

The Combo Move: A Pre-Programmed Partnership

On the women's side, Brooklyn activated a combo move, securing a duo that already has flawless chemistry on the PPA Tour: Rachel Rohrabacher and Jackie Kawamoto.

  • Rachel Rohrabacher: A former top-10 collegiate doubles player, Rohrabacher is already an MLP Champion (with Orlando Squeeze) and a dominant force who knows how to win on the big stage [5].
  • Jackie Kawamoto: A 2022 MLP Champion, Kawamoto is a legend of the sport. She's a steady, reliable partner who, alongside her twin sister, has been a fixture at the top of the game for years [6]. The fact that she competes at this level while holding a full-time job at the NCAA is a testament to her elite drive.

This isn't a new pairing Brooklyn has to hope will sync up. Rohrabacher and Kawamoto are already a unit. They've battled together on the tour and know each other's games inside and out. It's a pre-programmed combo that gives them a day-one advantage over every other team.

Why the Cheat Code is Unbeatable

The MLP format is a four-game match: one women's doubles, one men's doubles, and two mixed doubles. If the score is tied 2-2, it goes to the DreamBreaker. Brooklyn's roster is now optimized to dominate every single level.

  1. Men's Doubles: How do you even game plan for this? Do you face the raw power and athleticism of Haworth and Alshon, or the tactical genius of Newman paired with either one? There's no right answer; both options lead to a loss.
  2. Women's Doubles: You're up against a tour-tested, championship-proven partnership in Rohrabacher and Kawamoto. Good luck finding a bug in their system.
  3. Mixed Doubles: The potential pairings are just unfair. Newman's legendary mixed doubles IQ with Rohrabacher's power? Alshon's insane court coverage with Kawamoto's precision? It's a pick-your-poison scenario for opponents.
  4. The Final Boss: And if, after all that, a team manages to survive and force a DreamBreaker? Their reward is a one-on-one showdown with Chris Haworth. A guy who was acquired for the sole purpose of winning that exact game. It's the final, unskippable cutscene where you know you've lost.

Brooklyn isn't just playing the game anymore; they're rewriting the code. They've got the celebrity owners, the New York edge, and now, a roster that's a living, breathing cheat code. Game over.

References

[1] Pickleball.com. (2026, March 4). Breaking down the moves from Trade Window #2 of the 2026 MLP season. https://pickleball.com/news/breaking-down-the-moves-from-trade-window-2-of-the-2026-mlp-season

[2] Brooklyn Pickleball Team Instagram. (2026). Chris Haworth signing announcement. https://www.instagram.com/brooklynpickleball.team/

[3] Major League Pickleball. (n.d.). Christian Alshon Player Profile. https://majorleaguepickleball.co/player/christian-alshon/

[4] Peter Hoopis. (2025, July 22). On Top of the Game: The Riley Newman Pickleball. https://peterhoopis.com/riley-newman/

[5] PPA Tour. (2023, October 4). Who is Rachel Rohrabacher? https://ppatour.com/who-is-rachel-rohrabacher/

[6] Major League Pickleball. (n.d.). Jackie Kawamoto Player Profile. https://majorleaguepickleball.co/player/jackie-kawamoto/